What’s So Great About Valentine’s Day?

Because I am a single mother, it may sound odd to you when I say that Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. All the talk of romance and relationships, red and pink hearts, and chocolate candies. I actually do love all of that. Each year I make a point to give my children a valentine and profess my undying love for them.

But the real reason I love Valentine’s Day is that it marks the midpoint between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. Spring Equinox marks the midpoint between Winter Solstice and Summer Solstice. So basically, if we can make it to Valentine’s Day, we’re in the clear! We have made it through winter. More sun is just around the corner and it’s becoming obvious.

Don’t get me wrong. I love winter sports and sledding days. I enjoy having an excuse like a winter storm to stay in bed and listen to a book or drink hot cocoa without guilt. But nothing compares to the warmth of the Sun and the active hope within a flaming sunrise or a prolonged sunset. As I get older the cycles of a year, a month, and day become more meaningful to me. It’s as though each cycle marks a larger investment, an investment I’ve made into this little life of mine over so many years – it would be foolish not to let it shine.

A Purpose to Every Time and Season

Seasonal cycles are a physical manifestation of the full circle, not just a literary device, but also that beautiful point of rest and understanding that we come to after we have ventured out and miraculously returned home, newly expanded and humbled, more seasoned. More attuned to our human nature and the natural connections that make up the essence of our humanity. More in love than ever.

Even as a single person, there is no such thing as truly alone. From the time we are small, we actually can’t survive very long on our own. Sometimes this is an unwelcome reality – especially after experiencing harm such as abuse and betrayal. But the joy of being able to open your heart once again is a tender surprise. Terrence Real in his book Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build More Loving Relationship, explains that our brain chemistry settles down when we find ourselves safely connected in partnership or community. There is no longer a need for hypervigilance when you can rest while your partner tends to the fire.

Fostering Love Within Divorce Communities

To me this is partnership, something that extends far beyond romantic relationships. It can also be found in families, communities, or your chosen tribe. It is something you have to intentionally seek out and foster. It requires a great deal of reciprocity to be sustainable. For me, this is life-saving work. It is the bread of life. I invite you to find community and find your people. I remind you that you belong here. I welcome you to learn more about the Divorce Co-Op and encircle yourself in more loving relationships.

FAQs

1. Why is building new relationships after divorce so important?

Divorce marks the end of one chapter, but it also opens the door to new connections that can enrich your life. Whether romantic, platonic, or professional, these relationships help rebuild your sense of identity, boost emotional resilience, and create a support system. Isolation can prolong the healing process, while engaging with new people offers fresh perspectives and opportunities for personal growth. Healthy connections remind you that life continues beyond divorce and that you deserve meaningful, fulfilling relationships.

2. How do I make new friends when my social circle has changed after divorce?

Divorce often shifts social dynamics, but it’s also a chance to cultivate relationships that align with your current values and lifestyle. Start by engaging in activities that interest you—whether it’s joining a class, volunteering, or attending networking events. Be open about your journey; authenticity attracts like-minded people. Don’t be discouraged by initial awkwardness—meaningful friendships take time. A strong support system is built through small, consistent efforts to connect with others who uplift and inspire you.

3. What makes post-divorce relationships so rewarding?

New relationships, whether romantic or platonic, allow you to explore connection from a place of self-awareness and choice rather than obligation. You have the freedom to set standards, prioritize mutual respect, and engage with people who truly enrich your life. Unlike before, you’re approaching relationships with greater wisdom and clarity about what you need. The friendships and romantic connections you cultivate now are based on growth, not just circumstance, making them deeply fulfilling and aligned with the life you’re intentionally creating.

4. Is it too soon to date if I still feel emotionally raw?

Healing doesn’t follow a strict timeline, and emotional readiness varies for everyone. If you’re still processing pain, jumping into dating may lead to patterns that don’t serve you. Instead, focus on building fulfilling friendships and rediscovering what brings you joy. When dating feels like an opportunity rather than an escape or a compulsion, you’re likely in a better place to pursue romance. It’s okay to explore without pressure—clarity often comes from experience. Above all, give yourself grace as you navigate this new chapter.

5. How do I trust again after experiencing betrayal or loss?

Rebuilding trust takes time, self-awareness, and patience. Start by recognizing that not everyone will hurt you the way your former spouse may have. Strengthening your self-trust is key—when you trust your ability to set boundaries, recognize red flags, and communicate openly, trusting others becomes easier. Focus on forming relationships at a comfortable pace and prioritize people who demonstrate consistency and respect. Therapy, coaching, or support groups can also help rebuild confidence in your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.