Being True to Yourself

Divorce isn’t always a misfortune. Often, it is an opportunity, a choice, and thankfully, a right. There is a growing community of acceptance and support surrounding it. Although it was not something I initially wanted, I ultimately had to choose divorce to honor my values and reclaim my worth. I am always inspired by the divorcees I associate with. These are experienced and enlightened individuals committed to taking responsibility for themselves and their future.

Auntie Su Min

Yesterday, my sister shared a BBC article with me about a Chinese woman in her sixties who finally drove away from the familiarity of an abusive marriage into the freedom of the day to day. This is uncharted territory for her as for any person compelled to confront their destiny, discover what they really are, and make new meanings that will sustain them for the rest of their life. I admire this model of autonomy and sovereignty that we see more often now thanks to the contemporaneous coverage of social media.

Not the First and Not the Last

I imagine there have always been historical outliers that had to take this journey, despite the absence of rights that made it possible and our universal need for safety and security that comes only from belonging to a family or a tribe. I can say the fear, uncertainty, and grief are worth it. They do not last forever. All these emotions and experiences give us a deeper understanding of our own capabilities, a broader understanding of human experience, and more compassion for others. I agree with Rumi who wrote “What a bargain. Let’s take it,” and “Whatever brought me here will have to take me home.”

Conclusion

I am grateful to be part of this beautiful community and I wholeheartedly offer my expertise and mentorship to anyone fortunate enough to be taking their own journey. Please read the BBC article about Auntie Su Min. I hope you will be equally edified and inspired. (Photograph copied from the BBC.com article. https://lnkd.in/g4fA47yG) Freedom Sovereignty DomesticPartnerAbuse DivorceCoaching Interdependence

FAQs

1. How can divorce lead to a healthier, more positive future for me and my children?

Divorce can free you from toxicity, allowing emotional healing, financial independence, and a stable, peaceful home where you and your children can thrive.

2. What are the first steps to safely leaving an abusive relationship?

Secure important documents, save emergency funds, and develop a safety plan. Support from advocates, legal professionals, and trusted friends can help ensure a secure exit.

3. What legal protections are available for survivors of domestic violence during divorce?

Restraining orders, emergency custody, and financial protections are available. Connecting with legal resources and advocacy groups ensures you understand your rights and stay protected.

5. How do I regain confidence and self-worth after an abusive marriage?

Healing takes time—therapy and supportive relationships help. Setting boundaries, rediscovering passions, and focusing on personal growth will strengthen your self-worth. Practicing self-compassion and self-care is a form of self-love that communicates to your brain and body that you matter.

3. How can I rebuild my life after being in an abusive relationship for so long?

Leaving a long-term abusive relationship can feel overwhelming, but the steps to rebuilding are the same—healing, financial independence, and support. It may take longer to trust yourself, set boundaries, and regain confidence, but with time, therapy, and practice, these skills become second nature, leading to lasting empowerment.