Stop! I Wanna Get Off!

You’re now at the front of the line – waiting to hop on the roller coaster ride of divorce. Wait! You really don’t want to be here now, but you must hop in, buckle up, and just white knuckle it as it races. However, with some self-awareness, you can slow the roll and find time to catch your breath between the peaks and valleys.

After the initial discovery stages, it’s imperative to get organized. Get clear on what’s important to you and plan ahead. Then you’ll be able to make the best possible choices that reflect your best possible self. But how do you do this? Here are three tips for success and some mistakes you’ll want to avoid:

Tip #1: Work With a Coach

Emotions including anger, fear, shame, and betrayal can tempt the most rational people to act out. Within the coaching container you can develop the necessary skill of self-awareness and self-regulation. A coach can offer valuable reflections and lead you to insights about yourself and the process. You can co-develop supportive timelines and action steps to get you where you want to go. You can come out the other side with the financial assets you are entitled to and the confidence you need to take on new responsibilities

Tip #2: Work With the Best Professionals

Even though you find yourself single again, divorce is not a solo journey. There are layers of legal and financial complexities that you may not have any experience with. There are layers of emotions and healing you may need to work though. And then there’s the house. Lawyers, mediators, financial planners, therapists, and real estate agents are the experts and able to help. Ask your coach to personally connect you with different resources and referrals so you can build your professional A-team. Work with your coach to optimize the minutes you spend with your professionals.

Tip #3: Avoid the Biggest Mistakes

Slow down the decision process and consider a variety of options. Betting the farm on another relationship, assuming a rigid or non-collaborative stance, not consulting with experts, insisting on guarantees, not making decisions, or throwing in the towel when it gets too hard will lead you to sacrifice long-term benefits for short-term relief. Leverage the experience of your coach who can help you steer clear of these mistakes.

I’m a divorce coach and we can ride the roller coaster together. I can even show you ways to get off. Herethat for you.

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FAQs

1. What are the most important priorities during divorce?

Protect your financial future, prioritize your children’s well-being, set boundaries, and focus on emotional resilience to navigate the process effectively.

2. How can I stay clear-headed when emotions feel overwhelming?

Practice mindfulness, take breaks before responding, and seek support from trusted professionals or friends to maintain perspective and focus.

3. Why is financial awareness crucial during divorce?

Understanding assets, debts, and expenses ensures informed decisions, helping you secure long-term financial stability and independence. So log on to your bank, download your statements and start crunching the numbers.

4. How can I avoid unnecessary conflict and stay focused on what matters?

Stick to facts, set clear boundaries, and choose battles wisely—spending energy on what truly impacts your future. Steer clear of the swamps of the past.

5. What self-care practices will help me maintain clarity during a stressful divorce?

Prioritize sleep, exercise, and emotional support. Therapy, journaling, and setting daily intentions help you stay grounded and focused on your values. This is how you reclaim your worth. Don’t get tricked into a divorce diet. Trying to be a different person won’t convince you or your ex that they made a big mistake—or lead you to love. Self-care is self-love. With time, it will take you exactly where you want to be. Practice daily and be patient.