Stepping Into Action

Creating a new habit requires a lot less energy than breaking an old one. Mel Robbins refers to this as activation energy. The quantifiable, physical energy that it takes to move into action. She also states that if you don’t make the move within five seconds of your impulse to do so, you have effectively pulled the emergency break and with it the possibility of change.

Here are some tips to help you keep your hand off the breaks and reduce the mental friction holding you back from achieving your goals.

Tip #1: Keep the WHY Front and Center.

You can envision the outcome before you embody it and gently guide your mind to where you want to be. This is essential because your WHY is what fuels your fire. This is where activation energy comes from. It’s much easier to move toward a desirable destiny than the next task on your to-do list. In fact, successful coaches recommend you can only effectively start at the beginning with the end in mind. When you’re focused on your vision, you are becoming the magnet that draws it.

Tip #2: Break Goals Into Small, Doable Pieces

Start small. That way you’re always leveling up. Make a habit out of doing first what requires the least effort. Add to it over time. Link it to an existing habit or routine. I remember how burdensome it felt two years ago to run the squeegee along the four walls of the shower every time to save the glass from hard water stains. “Why bother? It’s all going to s*** anyway.” But by doing something seemingly insignificant, I was effectively reducing the slope of the mountains I was forcing myself to climb up each day. It’s become a ritual for me now every time I shower – and rituals heal. I don’t think twice about giving myself that time each morning to pause, reflect, rhythmically move, and invest in my own space.

Tip #3: Write Down Your Intentions and Goals

When we take the time to write down what we intend to work toward, we get clear on what we actually want – and the to-do’s required to get it. This frees up the vital mental space and energy we need to direct toward those efforts. When we don’t have to keep thinking about it, our brain thanks us for the rest, those extra calories, and inspires us with better ideas. Written goals provide a reference point to measure our progress and keep us accountable. A tangible document doesn’t just go away when we look away. Eventually, we have to face it. Keep your goals SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound).

Tip #4: Learn From Your Mistakes

I know that’s all I can do. I have experienced some real crash and burns, but I am relieved to know there is power in failure. When I think about my part in the “less than ideal” results that came my way, I was struck by how powerful I actually am. If I had indeed contributed to outcomes without being aware of my role, then I can only imagine what I can do on purpose. Even inaction is a type of action. We are that powerful! We effect the effect. And we can effect a different one. There is no shame in failure – only the discovery of personal power.

I’m a divorce coach. I’m passionate about helping women see the positives and design the life they choose. If you are confused and overwhelmed by divorce processes, you’re not alone. You can have a partner to help navigate divorce decisions and disruptions. You deserve support from an experienced coach who’s been in your shoes.

#thinkingofdivorce #divorcegoals #divorcecoach #divorcesupport #divorceeducation #divorcingwomen #divorcetransformation #interdependency

FAQs

1. How can I set realistic goals for myself during divorce?

Focus on small, manageable steps in finances, parenting, and emotional healing. Progress takes time, so celebrate each achievement along the way.

2. Why is goal-setting important for rebuilding after divorce?

Clear goals provide direction, motivation, and stability, helping you regain control and create a fulfilling, independent future.

3. How do I stay focused on my goals when emotions feel overwhelming?

Acknowledge emotions but don’t let them derail progress. Break goals into steps, seek support, and practice self-care.

4. What are some key financial goals to prioritize after divorce?

Build financial independence by budgeting, saving, improving credit, and exploring career opportunities that support long-term stability

5. How can I create meaningful personal goals beyond just financial and parenting responsibilities?

Set goals for self-care, friendships, hobbies, and personal growth. Rediscovering your passions helps build confidence and fulfillment post-divorce.